Thursday, September 4, 2014

First day of school EMBARRASSMENT

Awaiting with limited patience sits my sixth grader for his first day of school. His and my last year of elementary school. I have already insisted that we make an appearance at his back to school picnic, and I am already making plans to be a chaperon to the sixth grade class trip.

I feel a pang of guilt and anxiety when I think about the reality that I may NOT be available to attend his school functioning's as I have in the past. In just four short days I will be venturing into new territory...a full time job.
In four short days...I will no longer be MOM...not that I wont be Mom...I just will no longer be  MOM!!! I will be working mom. Mom who will insist on more independence from her child and need more help around the house.
The plan is to assist with the bus this am, then tomorrow as I have a 730am AOD meeting with Vera House (I have decided to stay involved with this as we are finally putting on a presentation in I just have to hope Molly(my new boss) will let me take the day to participate....) he will have his only DRY run SOLO!!!! baby will be doing all his morning and afternoon routines without me, starting tomorrow. (His sister and brother will often be are several on alert neighbors). I am not all that trusting of the WORLD or my son....and he will have a cell phone on MOMMY speed dial at all times.but....I am so FREAKED!!!!
Freaked but excited.
So today...for the last time I took my little guy to the bus in hand expecting to see his little friends and their parents also waiting by the stop with their own camera in hand....only to find two little boys (my son's friends) standing parents around ready to kiss their little boys goodbye and seal a memorable picture of their first day of sixth grade....just this CRAZY mother and a kid who was clearly on the edge of OH MY GOD EMBARRASSED!!!!
I tried and tried to get a picture with threats...and promises I tried...but I guess he is no longer my baby! Maybe this is just the thing. Maybe he is more ready for this then I am....maybe I need to take a deep breath and enjoy...he is willing to...maybe I should too!
Breath in...exhale...I think I am going to spend the day reading by the pool and enjoying some of my own independence.