Saturday, November 23, 2013

Difficult trip, just summarizing

It has been a difficult week. There have been two deaths, and several struggles that friends have been dealing with and my own woes. A dear old friend of mine past away last Thursday, his loss was incredibly unexpected and a tragic realization that pain can run so deep there does not seem to be any way out. A reality that life is precious and to enjoy the things I have to be grateful for. He will be sadly missed. I had known George since I was a kid. Cousin to my neighbor Pat, and we all grew up together. He was always there to lend a shoulder offer a supportive ear, never reported a complaint to anyone, and always had a smile on his face. His death and the cause filled me with overwhelming sadness tainted with anger. Why rushed over me, and I guess it will be a question I will never know the answer to. His services were held Tuesday evening, and it was well attended, it was clear he was loved dearly by many. I did get to see a few friends that I usually do not see. Unfortunately death seems to be the things that gets us all together, live events go forward unaware of what we are each doing. We all spoke preventing missed opportunities in the future, vow to spend time or happier occasions. I know how that goes, we've said it before, and find ourselves again making those same vows at yet another passing. Of our close group of friends that all grew up together we have loss three lives at tender young ages. There have been more positives of course; weddings, births of babies, families developed, birthdays, holidays but as the years have gone by, I know we will be seeing one another more often at saddened events. It had been 8 months since I had last seen George, possibly as sad as it is, more recent then most, but 8 months still seems like a lifetime in relevance. Would the loss have been any less had I spent time with him days before? I don't have that answer either, but I do know that when a friend leaves this earth, it makes me clearly aware that we only are granted this moment in time and that I need to take advantage of those moments. I am hopeful that we will all get together again soon on a festive moment, where we are laughing and enjoying each others company. I did also get to see an old friend who I have not seen in perhaps 9-10 years. My middle school friend, who also lived with me a few times growing up, Lisa. She and I had some crazy history and some great adventures. She has been struggling with Lukemia, and is currently in the Syracuse area to have a transplant. Her battle with this disease and the attitude she has about beating this battle is amazing. Never have I seen someone so pro-active and positive about dealing with all that comes with a diagnosis of cancer. She boldly attended the services with her hat removed for the world to see the remnants of chemo, and smiled a wide smile when meeting with people she has not seen in years. Her ability to not allow discouragement to get in her way has been amazing. I am hopeful for her, and was grateful to have the time to spend with her. I called another dear friend,Jeanine who had sent me a Birthday card and a phone number.I had not spoken with in over a year; as her number was disconnected and I had no way of contacting her, so her card was a double joy for me. Speaking with her was wonderful, but she did suffer a tragic loss herself since our last discussion. She had loss her mother. At my age, I guess I should realize that our parents are getting older, including my own. Although I never met Jeanine's mother, I know that her loss was great and painful. Her reports of her loss and dealing with family business is a true reality to what most of us must face with our own aging parents. It is a sad thing to lose loved ones. On an upside I was glad to speak with her and know that despite such a loss she herself is well and managing. Like many of us, she is dealing with finances, work stress, and like myself..still trying to figure it all out. Plans to visit her soon, perhaps this spring, she is currently on the cape and we would all love to see her. Gavin insisted on speaking with "Aunt" Jeanine and making a visit soon. So far this blog entry has been not so fun, but the difficulties continue. My neighbor has been struggling with her own inner demons, I have been trying to be supportive, but find it difficult to offer support. Her concerns are bigger then a friend can be. I can only offer support and kindness. It has none the less, been an added burden to my already crazy week, but perhaps the most directed related stressor was on my birthday of all days I am informed that the IRS has not agreed to work with us, and they will be taking my wages. We did get that all straighten out, but it was an increase in the stress level. Anyways, it has been a difficult week. My birthday being in the middle of it didn't help much, but...happy birthday to me!!! The week has looked up, and I am hopeful for better days, looks like we shall be re-evaluating things here at home, I know I will be counting my blessings and looking at things differently. Thank you dear followers although I have none, for allowing me to publish.