Now I promised myself that I would STOP bitchen, and to be honest, I think overall I have been pretty good. I don't believe everyone would agree, but the truth of the matter is NO, I will possibly never stop bitchen about some things....rude people, being made to wait, loss money, and TRAFFIC/crowds.
Yesterday on a trip to my first (and last) appointment to a new primary care Dr. included ALL of those things noted above! As a tribute to all four of my most LOTHED things I am reserving todays trip blog to BITCH!
(Please leave now...if you are one of those people who can let irritation roll of you like rain, or one of those people who live by the law of acceptance or the big book, or the other big book, or whatever theory you might use to manage your emotions around ANGER.) I, however CANNOT, I deal best by bitchen to whom ever will listen, and even if they truly are not...I'll bitch just the same. So here it goes...
I have postponed getting a new Dr. since my last one, Whom I had a hard time finding in the first place and I like very much , although I cannot remember her name. That was nearly three years ago. Prior to that I had always had the same guy since time began...he was great, "hot", and even removed my belly-button ring with his fishing gear because he couldn't figure out any other solution. Both of these beloved medical providers left the practice to pursue better things I suppose, and that did not include me.
My current OBGYN is amazing, not that there is anything amazing about seeing her, in fact, I have racing thoughts and heart palpitations everytime that annual mailing comes to the house reading IMPORTANT: your yearly check up time is approaching! I am quite positive the nursing staff strategically put people like me in, just to get a giggle during their mundane days of looking at ninny's. I am sure I present like a CRAZY lady and they must laugh themselves silly after I leave.
Dentists and I have NEVER been friends, and perhaps that is why I have a mouth full of YUCK teeth that desperately need some attention. I walked out of my wisdom teeth removal (all four needed to be pulled) after the first one, because the guy was such an insensitive a-hole. I have three wisdom teeth now that have pushed my teeth forwards so far I no longer have a normal jawline. I guess I suffered for that, but there are just some things I will NOT tolerate, yesterdays first attempt to meet my potential new Dr. was one of those such days.
First off, the office CA and re-scheduled my appointment two times. I was okay with that, things come up....no problem. So I had a new appointment scheduled 3 1/2 hours before I had to be in for work. This should be no problem right? RIGHT!
I blame myself for running a bit behind, (although not late), but far from preparing myself for the time it would take to find a freaken parking spot. I spent at least 15 minutes circling the parking lot, dealing with the TRAFFIC, trying desperately to obtain a spot.....any spot as I watched the dash clock flip closer and closer to my appointment time, I could feel my road rage boiling inside. Finally a sport seen I park and make it with mere second to spare only to walk into a line at the counter. So I wait. Check in...yep, insurance card yep, fill this out check, $20- co-pay check! I even apologies for my own tardiness.
I take my seat and begin WAITING...................and waiting...............and waiting......... I read, and re-read the stupid blurbs they provide regarding HIPA, and then I read and re-read the Health Care proxy included that I am sure has NEVER once been filled out by any person who has been given the paperwork as it clearly states MUST BE SIGNED BY TWO WITNESS's and they cannot be the nominated person you have declared as your Proxy, nor can it be any health care providers. SO unless you have several of your friends (at least two) whom you are not entrusting your health to with you to your appointment, or you feel completely comfortable having the stranger in the seat adjacent to you sign...IT IS HIGHLY UNLIKLY THE DAMN PAPER WILL BE FILLED OUT....maybe its just me..I don't know.
At this point I overhear others complaining about their wait time. NOTHING no NOTHING fuels my own fire then someone else's FLAME, and I find it nearly impossible to sit still or focus on anything except the time that is ticking away. I try reading my book, but either I am truly going blind or my focus is so off I can't seem to see the sentences. Glasses..duh you do have glasses, try that. So glasses on and a few deep breaths later I try again.. Yep I am blind and the glasses do help, but my focus is still off and I have to read the same paragraphs at least twice to get the premise of what I just read. I give up, and find myself interjecting in on the other angered patrons heated wait time discussion. "this is quite a wait...isn't it?", "Is it always this long?" The censes is YES...I am not pleased.
Finally both my name and the women whom I had the most discussion about wait time (by the way, her appointment was scheduled 15 minutes after mine and she was complaining) were called. She entered first and we were both; together, usher to those hated scales by a woman who said nothing but pointed to get on. I was decent enough to fall behind as to give the women in front of me some privacy, but had all the opportunity in the world to view her weight had I wanted to. My turn.... fully expecting some communication other then a look of "get your fat ass up on those scales", I stumble around full of self consciousness a 10 pound purse on my shoulder, sneakers on my feet while glancing anxiously at the several people (it could very well have been three, but in my mind it was a hundred and three) who could just as easily read those numbers, as I could of the women before me. Now, it has been my experience that a few jokes at my own expense on the scales has helped me NOT faint at the numbers flashed before my eyes and for the most part, a good nurse, or aide, or CNA or weigh in person is usually kind enough to play along and offer some support or similar banter. (its not to obvious a little sarcasm here)....BUT I'm NOT petite, and weight is an issue for me). Don't they train these people to have some sensitivity, and didn't I just read and sign a four paged detailed paper about HIPA laws? I do believe that includes your weight...hello!
I brush off the weight thing, as she was too quick for me to really view the numbers and the fact that I told her my purse and shoes might indicate an inaccurate reading, and she did not respond I follow her to a back room relieved that at least I am not still sitting in the waiting room. Of course I have to use the restroom, and not knowing if they may need a urine sample I had held it, so at the first opportunity, grateful it was not weigh in girl as I am sure she would not have spoken and I would possibly pissed myself. None needed, I hurry to a restroom, noticing a nice fresh pee sample sitting on the sink. LOVELY, this experience is only getting better.
Shaking off all awful things and trying really hard just to get through this, I hurry back and begin my short but sweet reason for why I am here. Initially the guy who was in with me seemed okay, (and by the way, is there some rule or something about a male in a room with a patient? I could just possibly be looking for more reasons to be pissed..so I will let that one go). I tell him quite honestly that I know what my issues are...I'm not healthy for reasons I have allowed to happen and I have the prescription/power/recommendation and knowledge to do something about it, I simply choose not to. Despite that, I am nearly 44 years old and should have a doctor, for any of that other stuff I might not be so aware of. He takes my blood pressure, which I assure him is fine, and it was. Find myself answering most questions well before he finishes asking, and feel quite happy that this part seems to be moving along rather quickly, that is until he announces that he needs to get something reporting he "will be right back". Maybe its me........but when someone says they will be right back, it usually means not to long....and certainly not about 15 minutes or so, and it could have been longer, I just didn't wait to find out....but I jump ahead of myself.
Okay, he's gone. What he went to get...I will never know, because he never did come back. I wait for about 15 minutes truly, and hear him talking outside the door several times anticipating his return. Each time only to find that he is not coming back. Finally I pop my head out to see him walking yet another patient into the room across from me so I yell "...Hey! did you forget about me?" just before he closes the door. Clearly he was not going to "be right back". This was the straw that sent me over the edge. Unfortunately for "weigh in" girl she was the only one standing there. So I "nicely" ask "How much longer will this be? I have to get to work.". I am already behind schedule, I had not wore proper work clothing, my dogs were not caged at home so I was sure there was shit and piss all over the back room, I had skipped breakfast and was beginning to get hungry, and I am the only human left on this planet without a cell phone to call and report I will be late...add all of the bull shit I just endured and my, "nice" was anything but. I should have know mute "weigh in" girl would not have the answer I was looking for, but listened for her response simply out of any hope that this could change and that my whole morning was not wasted. She points to a door and says...(apparently she can speak) "the Dr. is in there." OH!!!!! OH !!!! OKAY....because THAT WILL TELL ME......WHAT EXACTALLY? I feel SOOOOO MUCH BETTER!!!!! For all I knew the Dr. could be in there for a FREAKEN YEAR!!!! What does that mean to me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! I Freaked!!!! YELLED that I was LEAVING, and left the stupid "weigh in" girl, past those god damn scales, spied that same piss cup sitting on the bathroom sink and walk right the F-out the door. I headed towards the front desk with a mission to demand my co-pay only to be stopped by yet another line I WAS NOT GOING TO WAIT in, turned around willing to eat my $20- co-pay and headed back to that awful parking lot, jumped into my car and stormed as far away from that place as I could, complaining under my breath all the way.
Now that I have bitched, let me note that NO I am NOT the ONLY person on the planet, I recognize that, and although I'll admit some of my anger does come from some misguided sense of pure entitlement and above all importance. I do have to remind myself sometimes that it really is NOT all about me..this is true, but that experience was surly beyond my own personal enlarged ego. It was clearly unprofessional in every sense of the word.
I also understand that people are often overworked, overbooked, and underpaid. I get it, things come up, schedules fall behind, but at least LIE TO ME. Apologize for the delays, inform me of when about I might be seen, offer me some respect...tell me the Dr. had an emergency, is taking a shit, having sex with some hot drug rep, I DONT CARE, but DONT leave me guessing. Sitting there with no answers. Needless to say, for all the time the event ate up, writing about it ate up even more, SO NO I will not be using her office as my new Dr. I am hopeful that I will not wait another three years to try this again...and NOW I can move on, thank you dear readers (of which I have none) for allowing me to bitch!