Fall thoughts: 2022

Fall thoughts

September/Oct 2022

Every September I will remember. It has been 21 years since that horrible day that our country was attacked on. As every year passes and our country's pain fades as the saying goes Time Heals all Pain, I have to be reminded. I had no personal connection to the people we lost that day, my life although altered went on. Every year life goes on. Like most of us, we pick up the pieces and move on. We forget, life happens. But this year, more then perhaps the last several, I am reminded. If anything positive did come out of the horrible day, I do know this, I had never felt more Patriotic and proud to be an American then I was in those days following the events of 9/11. Today, I can't say that. Today, I have to be reminded. We all have to be reminded. 

I promise that I will not make this blog a political debate, but I will say how it saddens me just how divided I feel our country seems these days. I have to remember, not only as a tribute to the people we lost that day, not only to the brave Police and Firefighters, not only for the loved ones that were left behind, but I personally have to remember how I felt to be an American, because today, I am loosing that sense of pride. I have to remember, to prevent my bitterness, my disgust, and my anger towards the country's views and the extreme division that I see developing in this country. I have to remember this day to help me remember to be a proud American.

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Ok,....thank you for that. I will continue with a more positive note, as I mentioned, Life does go on.  The fall season, as I have mentioned at least a few times before, is my favorite time of year. I think of the changes in the leaves, apple cider, craft fairs, nice cool breezes, farms, bright orange, yellow and red colors. Harvest and bounty of the summer months. Today, I went on a hunt for the recall of days when I would take my kids to the orchards and pick an apple from a tree. Today after a weekend at camp, Kelly and I found this little orchard called Appledale. 

We walked into the orchard and delicately selected the perfect pieces of fruit. Taking a taste in these fields is common, in the past I may have easily ingested more apples during those few minutes then I had all year. The crisp crunch, the sweet juice (sometimes tart), always signals my senses to the season. 

On this trip, I didn't get myself a full bag. These days, it's only me who will be eating from this bag. My children are grown, and the apple picking/ apple eating days of my past are long gone. But for today, I will relish in those memories with those children, recalling my oldest climbing as far as he could to get that one apple shining in the sun. Recalling, my daughter's drive to find the one apple deep within the leaves, recalling my youngest attempts to fill each bag to the tippy tippy top even if it was getting those not so desired apples from the ground. I guess I'm feeling melancholy today. Perhaps, I am seeing the changes as my life moves forward. The stages of life isn't something I think of often, but as I type, I am brought back to those precious moments. Moments, that at the time, were abundant and never ending. This will help me to stay in the moment, living my life one day at a time. 

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Another fall bounty, WINE. My wine tasting days have been less and less as I have aged, but I have never been opposed to a glass of Moscato especially if the grapes that helped in making that very bottle is right outside.  After getting our fill of apples Kelly and I made our way to the small store across the street to a vineyard. 

Now, I am not an expert on grapes, and I cannot be sure that these are actually the type of grape that made the Moscato being sold in the store, (I girl can imagine). Kelly and I both took a taste from the vine, and decided that these grapes are possibly more likely to be eaten rather then bottled, but neither of us could be sure. 

Are Concord grapes made into wine? Or perhaps they are only jelly's, jams, and juice. At any rate, It's always fun to get a perspective of the grape to the table. 

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I am feeling that this blog space today really has no theme and seems to reflect all over the place. There is no time table or easy transition. Todays blog is just what was going on in my life during the fall season of 2022. As I am writing this, I am sitting in my future from this point in this blog post. It is easy for me to simply recall the events of a trip, the things that I did, the memories and fact check from my daily journal. Todays blog has no events, no fact check. today is just a ramble of thoughts on activities and feelings these pictures create for me in real time. For readers, I apologize, your mind must be lost in what is this suppose to be all about. I'm not even sure myself. So bare with me. Time, real time has not quite caught up with some of the thoughts during these days back in Sept.and Oct of 2022. The saying, if I only knew then what I know now runs through my brain. My life has made such significant changes since I was ambitiously working on the flooring of my beloved Casita project. My thoughts at that time were bold and brave. Today, I am embarrassed to admit, this was pretty much the last work that I have done on the Casita project. This poor girl has simply sat, in the same place, the only change has been the addition of stuff. I do now have a bed, a magnet board and cabinets full of "camping gear". But, she has not been camped in. She has sat for nearly a year and a half patiently waiting for her BIG day. 

When I found her, (spring of 2020) in a field with donkey's no less. I was motivated. My dream of traveling the country, living nomadic was ripe. I was charged with the prospect of bringing her back to life, making her my own. I imagined traveling myself to all those places I have so wanted to go. The vision was real. The reality was not.  Once we got her home, I immediately took her in to a garage where they, "got all her kinks out",  made her safe, new tires, new battery, updated wires. She was good to go....except she wasn't. My balloon was popped when I found that her floor was completely rotted, the seasons changed, it got cold, life events happened, and she was forgotten. The summer of 2022, I finally got the floor replaced, this was a ton of work, and as it appears it was this fall that I finally got the subfloor pretty, but that is where the project ended. 

I do remember how proud I was when I got that floor down. The dream had not yet died. 

She actually is looking pretty good. 

I was proud. Unfortunately a number of things have since happened to delay getting this girl out and about.  The car I had bought with the specific instructions that it must have a tow package, turned into a big mess up. (The car I purchased did not end up to be the car I bought, I am sure there was some illegal issue that went with that, but I ended up with another car that does not have a tow package. You honestly would not believe me if I told you.).  We have begun steps towards major life changes which include having a home in Florida. (That too has been a mess up). There have been much more concerning issues happening in my home which have prevented me from concentrating on this dream.

So.....at this time in the fall of 2022. I was still liven that dream. But today, in real time, she still sits. The dream still burns, but the flame is gone, the embers are heated, but I am fearful they are about to die. 

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A blog that reflects on the fall of 2022 could not be complete with out the mention of the horses. The later part of the horse racing season of 2022 was the best races the Kisses From Above had ever run. Week after week he was taking the 1st place ribbon. My husband was in his glory. 

We spent several weekends, and many days all about the horses. There really is nothing like watching your horse grow into his potential. The pride you feel when you get to stand in the winners circle, and the money doesn't hurt either.

This weekend, was a special weekend, because not only did Kisses win, but I had several of my family members; my youngest son and my daughter were there to relish in this win. 

My children are some of my favorite memories. 

thanks for sticking with this blog spot. TTFN